A few months ago I was invited by the CNY Business Exchange to write an essay on the experience of closing my 10 year old gift basket business and starting a new venture for their annual “Women in Business” issue.

Having a business fail might not be something that most people want to publicize, but I didn’t hesitate to write the article.

I was in the midst of closing the business last summer, and I was having a glass of wine with a friend who happens to be a very successful business owner. At the time I hadn’t known her very long, and as far as I could tell she had always been exactly as she appeared – smart, savvy, and super successful.

I was definitely beating myself up about the the mistakes I had made until  she told me HER story – which makes my experience look like nothing more than a bad hair day. It was so compelling, I suggested the magazine use her story too, and they did – it appears just before mine if you go to the link.

Anyway…we agreed that the experience of failing is something that happens more often than anyone thinks and should be discussed. Business owners should know they are not alone, and that you can come out of the experience much wiser - not to mention a better business person.

The link to the online version of the magazine is HERE. You do have to subscribe to read it, but it’s free, or if you’re in the Syracuse area it’s on news stands for a few more weeks.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure” – Bill Gates

I launched Syracuse Gift Basket 10 years ago. Starry-eyed and ambitious, I was sure that with hard work and tenacity I would be a raging success. After all, failure is for lazy people with no creativity. It never crossed my mind until a combination of bad decisions and the downturn in the economy did us in….and the business went up in flames.

It was always a tricky business model and last year it turned into a nightmare. We lost corporate clients because gifts are the first thing to be cut out of a budget. We moved into a new location and sunk a ton of money into fixing it up. I got into an expensive legal battle over an intellectual property issue and a stupid mistake resulted in a staggering fine from Worker’s Comp. Things got ugly….I was robbing Peter to pay Paul and bouncing checks. I cut my salary and laid off employees.

In the summer of 2010 I was forced to call it a day. I couldn’t continue without sinking a pile of money into it. I didn’t have it and didn’t want to anyway. Burned out? Deep fried and extra-crispy, thank you very much.

It was a period of huge change.

A couple of years ago my brilliant son turned into an angry and troubled teenager. I reluctantly rented out my house and moved into an apartment to get him into a better school situation. As the business drama was unfolding, I threw in the towel and decided to come home.  In the space of 10 days I moved back into my house, moved the business out of the storefront, my son ran away from home and my boyfriend unceremoniously dumped me in the middle of it all because the situation was “stressing him out”.

Seriously?

A couple weeks later I discovered that that the only bathroom in the house had been quietly leaking into the living room for several months, requiring a huge unplanned renovation. What’s next? Was I was a serial killer in a past life?

I should have closed the business long ago, so initially I was relieved. Then reality sunk in. I needed to support my family, pay off business debt, and not lose my home, which was a total disaster. Between the extra furniture from the apartment, remnants of the business and the new construction project it looked like an episode of “Hoarders”. My income was slashed to almost nothing and I needed to come up with a plan – FAST.

My friends were getting ready to sell their house. It was beautiful but they had a few rooms that needed help. We started talking about it over a glass of wine one night and began pushing furniture around. My friends loved it, their realtor loved it, and we got glowing feedback from the other realtors. A light bulb went on…and Staged with Style was born. I’ve been interested in interior design as long as I can remember, but never considered making a living at it. I read once that when something comes easily you don’t value it, and I think there is a lot of truth in that.

But I was still beating myself up. Almost catatonic, I had a lot of days I couldn’t even get out of bed. My whole identity was wrapped up in that business and I wasn’t sure who I really was. I’d won business awards and enjoyed some great opportunities but felt like a fraud because of the way it ended.

Ironically, the thing that saved me was a part-time minimum wage job.

When the business closed I looked for a new gig. I had 10+ years experience running a business, headed a non-profit business organization and ran boards and committees. What I did not have was a college degree and an easily categorized skill set. I didn’t even know where to start.

I picked up a job at a retail store merchandising the home decor department. I was wildly over-qualified and the pay was a joke, but I was freaking out and glad to have it. During a time where I easily could have just stayed in bed crying, I had somewhere to be every day. It forced me to keep going.

Eventually I was able to pull myself out of the funk and start fighting. I started thinking about marketing my new venture and picked up some clients. My son moved home and I know someday he will get tired of being a rotten teenager. I am so grateful for amazing friends who stood by me. It’s going to be a long road, but I’m putting my life back together.

I’m doing something I absolutely love. When I’m working on a house, I feel alive and engaged….all circuits are firing. The icing on the cake is truly helping people by making the process of selling their home less stressful, faster and more lucrative – which is such a great feeling. At 42, I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently” – Henry Ford

Filed under: Uncategorized